Every time I spit something on the internet I get hit with “not every”, “not all” and “x isn’t for everyone”. “College isn’t for everyone”. “Marriage isn’t for everyone”. “Starting a business isn’t for everyone”. The key is that they are absolutely right. My views, my ideas and my paradigm, however, are not for everyone. My views are for the successful, driven and wealthy. Marriage, college and business tend to get you to those things. *kanye shrug*
I expect the backlash and the hate because the truth of the matter is that not everyone will be successful, not everyone will be wealthy and not everyone will achieve financial freedom. My views, tweets and thoughts are for the slim majority that will. So when you tell me “not all” you are right, but when you argue for your limitations you get to keep them. When you argue for lack, you get lack.
When you tell me that “not all” we create a culture where we get none at all. No black businesses, no black brands, no black families, no black stem degrees, no proof of black progress, all because folks were just too lazy to do what is hard. Look around, we are a result of the limits we place on ourselves.
Other communities get it
Across the board we see communities who embrace the opposite stance winning and winning big. Communities that won’t tolerate a degree that isn’t stem are some of the highest earning communities in America. Communities that won’t tolerate children out of marriage have some of the most stable homes and thriving children. Communities that don’t tolerate not going to college or not starting a business are all successful and self sustaining. It is only the black community in our infinite ideas about what is right that believes we can do everything that is not right and end up successful.
In other communities they don’t care about what you like or dislike or what you agree with. They don’t care about what you think is fair. There are standards, you rise to those standards and the community thrives because of it. We have to do better.
What troubles me is that there is a gap between those that want it and those that will have it. The “not all” and “not every” people want success. They just want it without going throw the proven way to get it in America. These people don’t realize that wanting and having are two different things. Everyone wants wealth, everyone wants to be healthy and in shape, everyone wants a healthy successful family. NOT everyone is willing to DO what it takes to have what they want even if they act like they want it really bad.
People will protest and complain and cry out for what they want. And then proceed to not put in the work, sacrifice, or investment to get it. Then they tell you that the things that will help them get the very things they complain and cry out for are “not for everyone”. Example: “Marriage isn’t for everyone”. The result is a culture where 90% of kids are born out of wedlock.
Not for everyone turns into not for anyone
The problem is the “not for everyone” mentality has turned into not for anyone. It has given mass amount of people free reign to do the things are comfortable instead of striving to do the things that will elevate them. I was on twitter and a guy made a point that “everyone shouldn’t own a business because then I won’t have employees”. While he is right, he was also effectively making the, “just don’t go into business so I can hire you” point which is selfish and advances himself individually not the culture as a whole. We don’t need everyone to be a business owner but we need a lot more business owners. Limiting words reduce that possibility to nothing. The result is a culture where less than 5% of businesses in America are black owned. The “not for everybody” line obliterates our progress.
It boils down to comfort
Often times what separate people from what they want and what they have is comfort. That is it. Comfort. This comfort is seen when people choose renting over ownership. That is a comfort play. This is seen when people live at or above their means instead of below their means so they can save and invest. That is a comfort play. This is seen when people skip college to enjoy life. That is a comfort play.
What people don’t realize though is that its only uncomfortable at first. When you are going through the grind of actually doing the things that get you to your goals pretty soon you get good at it and later the grind actually becomes your new comfort zone. The difference is that comfort zone took you out of lack and into abundance.
Discomfort soon becomes comfort
When I went to law school the first year I had to pay out of pocket and I had to move home. It was a true struggle but by pushing through I was able to then position myself within that discomfort to where I was able to have my classes funded while receiving huge windfalls in the process. I went from struggle to abundance, while pursuing my goals.
When you start the process of home ownership, or marriage, or eating healthy/exercising, it will be uncomfortable and you will have a ton of people giving you an out and a way back into the life of comfort you left. College isn’t for everyone, they will say. Everyone can’t start a business, they will say. Don’t pay attention to that limited talk. Expand your wings and get away from those that rationalize failure and average. Where you are headed isn’t for everyone so don’t expect everyone to agree.
Be great, invest well,